Out of the Blue

Today, I feel the love of God.  It's been a while since I have truly felt it and I know why.  It is kind of hard to know that someone loves you if you rarely spend time with them, and that is entirely my fault.  I have so much to be thankful for, and especially with the recent events in my life you would think it would push me even more to spend time with the One who has saved me and restored me to health; constantly providing for my every need.  At first I thought that with me being home more it would give me plenty of opportunities for devotions and having a quiet time.  But I have found that the world offers so many distractions and other things that I know are less important and I still allow them to take precedence over the time I could spend with the Lord.  I discovered that when I get out of the daily habit - no, the daily privilege - of spending even just a few minutes with the Lover of my soul, it slowly becomes easier to do other things.  Circumstances, disappointments, financial struggles and more have also caused me to forget all the good things He has already done in my life because I am so focused on the present and what is directly in front of me.  I have briefly lost sight of all the good He is extremely capable of and have placed my Lord in a box.  My trust and faith in His power have waned because I allowed my circumstances to dictate what I believe, when I should be going to His Word to discover what God's will and perfect plan for my life is.

If [I am] faithless,
   He remains faithful,
   for He cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 2:13

What a beautiful reminder.

My heart felt a small prick this afternoon and that still small voice reminded me, "I still love you, Amanda."  Every time I think about that short moment, it makes me get all choked up and teary-eyed.  To think that I have left my first love and chosen other things to spend time on makes me feel sad.   I feel so humbled and have to remind myself of how incredibly unworthy I am to have Someone who loves me so dearly.  After the way I have treated my Lord the past few months, I feel so undeserving; so ashamed.  I realized that I am a dirty, filthy sinner.  And yet I am saved by His grace and He continues to whisper those three little words to woo me back to Him even when I have walked my own way.  Needless to say, my goal now is to find ways to show God that I love Him instead of just giving Him lip-service.  Because as we all know, actions speak louder than words.  I rejoice in knowing that nothing will ever be able to separate me from the love of God; not even me!


Psalm 103
¹ Praise the LORD, my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the LORD, my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
   and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.



The Holy Spirit has definitely been my Comforter today and has reminded me of these passages so that my spirit is lifted.  Here is one more passage I found in John chapter 14.

¹⁵ “If you love me, keep my commands. ¹⁶ And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— ¹⁷ the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you...But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. ²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I don't believe that this passage was meant only for the disciples, who were able to physically walk with Jesus and hear Him speak.  Not only has the Father left His Holy Spirit for us as a guide, but He has also left His written Word so that the words and teachings of Jesus can still be passed on to other believers who did not have the awesome privilege of being with Him in the flesh every day!  And because we have His Word to read, study, and learn from, the Holy Spirit that is living inside us is able to remind us of those things that the Lord has taught us!!  So that when hard times come, we have a reminder of who our Jehovah Rapha is; our Provider, Rock, Redeemer, Deliverer; Name above all names; the only One who is worthy of our praise. The only One who is able to love us so incredibly and unconditionally that we can not even fathom the depths of His love for us!!  I am so thankful that His "mercies are new every morning" and that I get to start over with a clean slate tomorrow!


And so out of the blue today, a still small voice reminded me of His unfathomable love and called me back in to His forgiving and loving arms.  "Oh how I love Jesus...because He first loved me!"