Blogito - (tiny blog in Spanish).....

Well...I kind of made that name up!  Just a short little blog to say that I am really excited because tomorrow night is our military ball and I have a new dress that I can't wait to wear!  And I am super excited to see my husband in his smashing dress blues uniform.  He tried it on for me the other day, and I must say he does look quite handsome!  My sisters, Mallory and Madison, are coming to help me get ready and Mallory is going to take a few pictures of Josh and I together.  I will be sure to post the pictures after she gets them to me!  I will try to take some pictures while we are at the event, but I have a bad "picture-taking" reputation....I never take any pictures!  Too bad my sister-in-law Rayna won't be there...she's the picture taking queen!  Oh well.  I will do my best!

Moving to OK, doctors, and such.

We have 5 weeks left until we move to Lawton, OK, and I am starting to feel like I'm running out of time.  So many things are starting to pile up on my plate right now, and I am trying to keep track of everything.  And to top it all off, I have doctors appointments to fit in with Josh's schedule because I still can not drive.   Today I am looking for apartments, filing taxes (nothing like good ol' procrastination!) and cleaning house!  In a few short weeks I will have to start packing for our trek across the country.  Josh told me that I may actually see my first tornado living in Oklahoma...not exactly on my bucket list!  Ha ha!  I am looking forward to this great adventure I am starting with my best friend, but the closer it gets I am starting to get sad about leaving our family and friends.  Hopefully I will be able to make a trip back every few months but we will have to see.  The bright side is that we will be living about 30-40 minutes away from my dad's aunt and uncle, so we will at least know someone!  And apparently there are classes and a "support group" for the soldier's wives and I am looking forward to meeting new people and hopefully make a few friends!  The other struggle I am having is grocery shopping!  I am trying to use what we have and not buy too much more since we may not use it all in the next couple of weeks!  I know it is probably a silly thought, but my fear of moving so far away and not being able to see family but once or twice a year is that my brothers won't really remember me because they are so young right now.  Hopefully with our wonderful, technological advances such as cell phones and Skype, that fear will not come true. 

As far as my health goes, I just had a CT scan of my brain yesterday that came complete with an IV and dye!  Oh joy.  Yes...I did start to hyperventilate and even cried when the guy mentioned that he was going to put an IV in.  I am not ashamed at all!  I am so terrified of needles!  It has gotten better with all the practice I have had in the last few weeks but I still have not gotten over the mental aspect of it yet.  However, I am kind of proud of myself because the guy used a really large needle yesterday and I did really well.  I don't think I have had a needle that large ever, because this is the first time I have been able to actually see the hole that it made in my arm.  Yikes!!   I also have another appointment next week to look forward to....NOT!  I am scheduled to see the hematologist next Wednesday and he wants to draw MORE blood.  : (  I had over 20 vials drawn during my lovely week-long stay at Skyline, so I am not sure why he wants more.  (Maybe he is really a vampire....with a last name like Kuzur and his German accent...I am pretty sure he is the "Count" from Sesame Street...."Ah ha ha ha ha....let me suck your blood!")  OK...I'm done!  Ha ha!  Anywho...all that to say that I think I am slowly overcoming my fear of needles.  All by God's grace of course!

Next Thursday, I have my follow-up appointment with the Neurologist to see what the results are from my CT scan.  I am praying that he will see that everything is fine and that I have not had any problems and maybe....just maybe...he will release me to start driving!  I am just trying to not get my hopes up though. 

I do not think that I could have gotten through all that I have in the last month without the saving grace of my Jesus!  He sure did help me get through a LOT!  I am so very thankful for the prayers that were lifted up on my behalf!  What a joy to know that I had brothers and sisters all over the world praying for me!  I am truly blessed. 

Out of the Blue

Today, I feel the love of God.  It's been a while since I have truly felt it and I know why.  It is kind of hard to know that someone loves you if you rarely spend time with them, and that is entirely my fault.  I have so much to be thankful for, and especially with the recent events in my life you would think it would push me even more to spend time with the One who has saved me and restored me to health; constantly providing for my every need.  At first I thought that with me being home more it would give me plenty of opportunities for devotions and having a quiet time.  But I have found that the world offers so many distractions and other things that I know are less important and I still allow them to take precedence over the time I could spend with the Lord.  I discovered that when I get out of the daily habit - no, the daily privilege - of spending even just a few minutes with the Lover of my soul, it slowly becomes easier to do other things.  Circumstances, disappointments, financial struggles and more have also caused me to forget all the good things He has already done in my life because I am so focused on the present and what is directly in front of me.  I have briefly lost sight of all the good He is extremely capable of and have placed my Lord in a box.  My trust and faith in His power have waned because I allowed my circumstances to dictate what I believe, when I should be going to His Word to discover what God's will and perfect plan for my life is.

If [I am] faithless,
   He remains faithful,
   for He cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 2:13

What a beautiful reminder.

My heart felt a small prick this afternoon and that still small voice reminded me, "I still love you, Amanda."  Every time I think about that short moment, it makes me get all choked up and teary-eyed.  To think that I have left my first love and chosen other things to spend time on makes me feel sad.   I feel so humbled and have to remind myself of how incredibly unworthy I am to have Someone who loves me so dearly.  After the way I have treated my Lord the past few months, I feel so undeserving; so ashamed.  I realized that I am a dirty, filthy sinner.  And yet I am saved by His grace and He continues to whisper those three little words to woo me back to Him even when I have walked my own way.  Needless to say, my goal now is to find ways to show God that I love Him instead of just giving Him lip-service.  Because as we all know, actions speak louder than words.  I rejoice in knowing that nothing will ever be able to separate me from the love of God; not even me!


Psalm 103
¹ Praise the LORD, my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the LORD, my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
   and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.



The Holy Spirit has definitely been my Comforter today and has reminded me of these passages so that my spirit is lifted.  Here is one more passage I found in John chapter 14.

¹⁵ “If you love me, keep my commands. ¹⁶ And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— ¹⁷ the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you...But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. ²⁷ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I don't believe that this passage was meant only for the disciples, who were able to physically walk with Jesus and hear Him speak.  Not only has the Father left His Holy Spirit for us as a guide, but He has also left His written Word so that the words and teachings of Jesus can still be passed on to other believers who did not have the awesome privilege of being with Him in the flesh every day!  And because we have His Word to read, study, and learn from, the Holy Spirit that is living inside us is able to remind us of those things that the Lord has taught us!!  So that when hard times come, we have a reminder of who our Jehovah Rapha is; our Provider, Rock, Redeemer, Deliverer; Name above all names; the only One who is worthy of our praise. The only One who is able to love us so incredibly and unconditionally that we can not even fathom the depths of His love for us!!  I am so thankful that His "mercies are new every morning" and that I get to start over with a clean slate tomorrow!


And so out of the blue today, a still small voice reminded me of His unfathomable love and called me back in to His forgiving and loving arms.  "Oh how I love Jesus...because He first loved me!"

Fun Facts

These are just some random thoughts I had and got me thinking about different things that could be fun facts about me!

• Favorite actors - Russell Crowe, Liam Neeson, Matthew McConaughey, Denzel Washington, Jude Law, Adam Sandler,  Matt Damon, Jim Carrey
• Favorite Actresses - Sandra Bullock, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet, Kate Hudson, Emily Blunt,
• I adore Kate Middleton and love her hair, clothing, and that she's going to be a princess, duh!
• I can not wait to be a mom someday!  I love babies and have this innate desire to be a great mommy! I also have 21 friends on facebook that are either pregnant or just recently had a baby, so the baby bug is alive and well ;)
• I have kissed a toad for a dollar and it completely grossed Josh out!
• I love cooking and trying new recipes.
• Sam's Club is my favorite place to go on Saturday!
• I love classical music and I deeply miss playing the piano.  Unfortunately, I like to play by ear and it takes months for me to learn a piece of music because I can't read sheet music very well.
• I love reading and have over 300 books in my personal collection.  They are currently tucked away in storage waiting to be unpacked.  I have lots of classics and have read most of my books at least twice!
• I am the proud owner of a Dyson ball vacuum!  I took a challenge from Josh to give up Starbucks coffee for 6 months and save up the money to pay for it!
• I'm addicted to Starbucks coffee and that challenge was definitely difficult!
• I am completely terrified of needles.  So much so that I always cry when I have to have blood drawn or when I had to give myself blood thinner shots in my stomach.
• My husband taught me how to do push-ups.  When I first started, I could barely do two.  My recent record is being able to do 10 sets of 10.
• I love grape popsicles. 
• When I had my stroke/seizure and was in the hospital for a week, I refused to eat the hospital food!  My husband and family were gracious and brought food for me!  
• I will be an aunt in December and I am extremely excited!
• I have songs on my ipod by Selena Gomez and Willow Smith.....for my inner tweenager!  "I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth.....
• Josh and I are sponsoring a 4 year old little boy from Haiti through Compassion International and he is absolutely adorable! 

That's all I can think of for now.  I guess I'll write about something that is a little more serious later on!